Memorial Day: What should we remember?

“No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.”

— General Douglas MacArthur

I will probably get cancelled for what I am about to write and say. Somebody will probably think it’s tone deaf and someone will say that I “don’t get it.” Read it anyway.

Many (or most) people would agree with me that we are experiencing turmoil and living through a significant series of tumultuous events. Many people will see the reasons as to why that is, differently, and different people will be experiencing these events differently and say that different things are to blame. There are lots of differences.

I also think that many people are probably finding it hard to be patriotic right now: those that feel wronged or oppressed; those that feel this isn’t a great country after all; those that feel our country is being “taken over” by the other party; those that feel an election was “stolen;” those that feel America means something different than what their neighbor feels; those that feel they are right and their opinion is the only one that matters; those that feel they are “smarter” than the other guy and so therefore their opinion is somehow the only one that matters; those that feel like they are owed something by the Government. I could go on.

Today is actually the perfect day to be patriotic and share our love for this country. Today is perhaps better than any other day to celebrate our freedoms and remember why we should be grateful, and celebrate our differences. For this is the day that we stop and reflect upon the Price that has been paid for us to have our freedoms and the precedent that this country set around the world, and the example that was shown in what can be a “better way,” when few people in the world even knew what that might be.

Today is the perfect day to celebrate, that we are allowed to disagree. That we are allowed to have our differences and our different opinions. Still be friends and neighbors. Know that we are all on the same side. Today is the day to remember that while many of us disagree on policy, politics, and party, we all have that ability to disagree, because it has been bought and paid for by the lives of those willing to create and defend that right.

That is not patriotic cliché. It’s true. It’a a very real thing. The lives and sacrifices that have been given were and are, very real things. Regardless of the evolution and struggles of this country, those rights and those abilities to co-exist while also simultaneously disagreeing, are still very precious and things we should hold dear. And we should continue to valiantly fight for them.

Everyone is usually talking to themselves and then pats themselves on their backs for their brilliance and verbal judo: the Left talks to those on the Left, and the Right talks to those on the Right. We have little real dialogue, and less of an attempt to truly understand. Everyone on either side thinks they have both the moral high ground and the only monopoly on the truth.

We as people are, and have been, polarizing. We are and have been polarized — this has been done to us.

We are losing our ability and our rights to have our own thoughts, think freely, and then express those thoughts. What once was right, is now being relabeled as wrong, and what once was wrong, is now being rebranded and peddled as right.

We claim to want to remove labels, yet we create new ones every day. There is an attempt to remove past divisions and the “us’s versus them’s,” but for every wall and barrier we take down, we draw new lines and segregate ourselves with new-found identities and are dared to challenge them.

In the past we have disagreed on policy and agreed on process. Today, even the process is challenged on a daily basis. No side or political party is immune to this, despite their best rhetoric, cable news sound bites, and social media headlines. This is not some weak argument based on moral equivalency or justification with the math of “two wrongs make a right.” This is again simply the fact that both political parties and any political division that have been created or imposed upon us, are not able to escape their own challenges to elections and our democratic process as a whole. It has become common and somehow therefore accepted, that we fight for process and the system, but only when the system and the process support the outcome that we hope to see as the result.

We are losing the blessings of Freedom that we have enjoyed. And while our Democracy has had a rough history, and it is often a slow process, the hopes and the dreams will only remain as long we agree to allow them to remain. We have made mistakes and missteps along the way, yet it is the framework and the process itself that allows for us to get to where we are, one day get it right, and it is because of the men and women who have been willing to stand, fight, demand something better, and then raise their hand when the time came.

White men have died for our freedoms. Black men have died for our freedoms. Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, and others, have died for our freedoms. As a white man, a Veteran living in this country, I am grateful for all of them; I see no difference. Some people might have more than others materially and financially, some have different experiences and grievances, and some feel that their place in this country is lost. Regardless of all that, we all share a strong, common bond, that can transcend it all. There has been a lot of fear thrown around lately, creating more division and more animosity, all claiming “dire circumstances,” and that our “Democracy is in danger.” This is only the case if we allow it, and if we let our fallacies as humans replace our common ground and shared beliefs as Americans. And as long as we remember, and are willing to “vigilantly preserve” what we have, this will never be the case. That is up to us.

This Memorial Day, try to see it a bit differently. Try to think bigger and that we have the ability to do more together, and do better for each other. Today we have a stark reminder of what people who have also believed, have been willing to give to lay a foundation that can be built upon, and continue to be built upon for a long time to come — even as we continue to learn and grow as people.

I lost one of my closest friends while serving in Afghanistan. He was a good man, a good father, and a good Soldier. He was an example of what we can be as people, have firm beliefs, and be willing to give it all, so that others can have the right to their own thoughts and opinions, the ability to disagree and have dissenting opinions, and without the fear of reprisals or persecution. People like him believed in those rights and abilities, which are to be enjoyed by all — without division, or picking and choosing who they apply to.

I have heard it said before, that whenever one is unhappy with their present situation, that a good practice is to pause, reflect, and be grateful. Find the good, and then work from there. Of course, we still have work to do, and we can continue to grow. As long as we have men and women who are willing to “rush towards the sound of gunfire,” literally and figuratively, we will all be better off for it.